Reason # 43: Dining with Donald
Why do we need to defeat Donald Trump and ensure that a Democrat occupies the White House?
In the last few posts, we talked about employees of Donald Trump and what they have been through. Today let’s assume the persona of a wait-staff employee at BLT Prime restaurant in the Old Post Office Trump hotel in Washington D.C. You get the call. President Trump is coming in for dinner. Jessica Sidman explained what would happen over the next hour or so.
You rush to table #72, his exclusive personal table overlooking the hotel lobby. and prepare yourself. You quickly review the rigid protocol book provided for just this circumstance, memorizing the script lines you are obliged to read.
First things first. There must be a small bottle of Purell hand cleanser on the table (DJT is famously germophobic.) The order is no problem; always the same. Diet Coke, shrimp salad, well-done steak and fries. But the details, oh the details. There is a particular ritual for the diet Coke. The bottle must be opened at the table where the Donald can see that it has not been previously opened. The bottle must be held by its lower third only and similarly, a long bottle opener must be held in its lower third. This procedure is repeated multiple times during the meal. Color photographs illustrate show the hand choreography involved.
The shrimp are served next, but they must be larger than shrimp served to other diners. Extra-large shrimp are ordered daily for just this purpose. When the steaks are served, it is imperative that no other diner receives a steak that is larger than Donald’s. On one occasion, there was hell to pay after a dinner companion got a slightly larger steak. To ensure that this will never happen again, DJT now gets a huge “tomahawk” steak.
And then there are the fries. A small individual bottle of Heinz ketchup must be opened so that the picky diner can hear the lid pop.
There also had to be a tray of snacks on the table. Sidman lists the contents.
“One more thing. Don’t forget the snacks. A tray of junk food needed to be available for every Trump visit: Lay’s potato chips (specifically, sour cream and onion), Milky Way, Snickers, Nature Valley Granola Bars, Tic Tacs, gummy bears, Chips Ahoy, Oreos, Nutter Butters, Tootsie Rolls, chocolate-covered raisins, and Pop-Secret.”
But that was just the beginning. Wait staff also had to study books of photographs and personal foibles of members of the right-wing entourage who were chronic and sometimes abusive complainers.
What about pay?
In 2020, as a result of Trump’s outrageous behavior in office, restaurant patronship fell off sharply, with corresponding loss of income for wait-staff. With the onset of COVID, all were let go.
I know a lot of people with strange personal quirks, but none so bizarre as these. Are we going to again elect as president a man who is this neurotic and weird? I certainly hope not.
Have a heart; use your mind, search your conscience, and vote for Democratic candidates – across the ballot – on November. 5th.
Please share this message with your friends and please, add your thoughts, to expand upon what are only brief sketches here.
Fred Grannis
August 31, 2024